The Birth of a Mother
Or….
Maybe you DO NOT fall instantly in love.
Perhaps you are so overwhelmed with physical and mental exhaustion that you do not feel ready to look at your baby let alone hold him.
The experience of giving birth, no matter how your baby is delivered, has been likened to multiple athletic marathons that we feel ill-prepared for, a relentless and gruelling level of energy output with no breaks, down or recovery time, and little recognition for maternal achievements that may leave you feeling vulnerable, confused, in shock, damaged or even broken.
The feeling is real and overpowering!
And then it sinks in…
Who am I? Where is my place in this world now?
I am a mother, what does that even mean for me?
Is the woman that I was now lost to this new world of motherhood?
Little acknowledgement is placed on the fact that with the growth & birth of this baby, or babies, another birth has taken place, the growth and Birth of a Mother.
In many ancient cultures Motherhood is revered, not just seen as an event, but as a profound transformation. The traditions in these cultures around the world, ensure that the new mother is allotted a period of confinement, not considered a luxury, but rather a necessity, in bringing that mother back to a place of recovery and wellbeing and honouring her contribution or place in the community.
Sadly, the Western culture has long overlooked the Birth of a Mother.
The message we often absorb is,
“Congratulations, you have birthed your baby, your job is done! Can I hold the baby?”
This can leave a new mother feeling empty and wondering where her own value is.
Our society applauds mothers who ‘bounce back’, quickly resume the life that she had before becoming a mother, and somehow fit in her Mothering around that life.
“When are you going back to work?” “Oh, look at you, back in your skinny jeans!” “Meet you at the gym?” “Is he sleeping through the night yet?”
But, really, how can this be? She is not the same person.
She is a woman, and now she is also a Mother.
These concepts are examples of how our society has let Motherhood down.
I would love to share some research that opened my eyes in such a meaningful way in understanding why I had grappled with so many of the emotions outlined above, and has helped me to reconcile my relationship with myself and be better equipped to shun Mother Guilt, Perfectionism in Motherhood & self-judgement.
Please follow along as I take you on the journey of Matrescence, Maternal Brain, Maternal Hormones and how long is too long when it comes to postpartum.
